How You Know You're at a Turkish Wedding

The classic TURKISH WEDDING
It's funny to think that the Turks migrated from small town villages in Turkey,to the big cities in every corner of the world.
How did our parents go from only knowing one singular family after landing in Australia ( or wherever else you might be) to having 500 guests at your wedding? 
Who are these people?! Turks are quiet the social butterflies.

Have you ever casually mentioned to a co-worker that you're attending a wedding over the weekend? However, your tone of voice almost makes it seem like a chore?
Their reaction always surprises me. 'Wow awesome ! who's wedding?''
Does Jen from the office not realise I have been to at least 50 weddings in my life time? Are weddings not exciting anymore because I go to so many?
have I just paused and realised I actually can't answer Jens question?
wait... who the f*** is getting married anyway?!
80% of the time I actually don't know. It's usually a family friends daughter, or that chick from the fruit market that no one thought would ever get married.

Anyways, Heres a list on How you know you're at a TURKISH WEDDING

1. It all begins with your mum yelling at everyone to get into the car , whilst doing a last minute iron of your dads crinkly shirt. Once everyone is in the car, mums still inside. What!? she just spent the last hour yelling at us. Now dads blowing the horn and everyone's screaming. This has set the mood for the perfect night !

2. The wedding will always be at the same reception every Turk has their wedding. ( Anyone no matter what city you live in, can name the top 3 wedding receptions of choice )

3. Being seated next to the kitchen is always taken as a insult .Or perhaps being seated  on a table of strangers, conveniently placed right next to the band speakers. I don't know who you all are, and I can't introduce myself because I can't hear shit .... So I'll just politely signal for you to pass down the dip platter which you have so kindly already demolished.

4. Those two bald men with beer bellies and sweat patches in the middle of the dance floor having a intense dance off whilst the wedding drummer circles them. Either one of them could lose balance at any second, and Ali amca already knocked a child unconscious with his ass. HOPA !!! 

5. (refer to 4.) THOSE DAMN CHILDREN !! that little girl doing handstands in the middle of the empty dance floor with her  little pink dress getting caught over her head.We wait patiently for her to fall down and go crying to her mum 

6. Having sleepless nights and spending thousands of dollars planning the perfect venue, wedding dress , bridesmaids dresses, suits, makeup & decoration.
Having some random at the wedding judging how shit the food was; Priceless 

                             

7. When the non turk table ( usually friends of the bride and groom) look confused and traumatized by whats going on at the wedding. Id say this is a mixture of ''wow this is a glamorous wedding ! It must have cost a fortune!'' and ''Where the hell do these people get their energy from?!''

8. That one shoeless female at the end of the Halay waving around a handkerchief whilst making bird mating call noises. Rumour has it cinderella actually lost her shoe while doing the Halay ...

9. When your parents introduce you to a lady that's claims to have known you since you were born and you have no idea who she is. Nice to meet you teyzecim!
and no, I have zero interest in marrying your single son/daughter. 

10.  When you take a extra bomboniere ''for your children'' We've all done it. I love those little sugar coated almonds wrapped in mesh and decorated with a ribbon.
I'm going to take one for myself, and my .... sister (who doesn't exist ) 

And there you have it. Thats how you know you're at a Turkish wedding. 
I must admit though, I do enjoy a wedding here and there.
The energy of the Turks always project in the functions they host . 
One things for certain, I will always proud of my parents and grandparents. They came to a country knowing little English and only carrying with them strong ambition, determination & hope. With that, they have built amazing friendships, and have worked every day to provide for us, just so we can be happy. (after all, I'm pretty sure they paid for the wedding :D)